Posted in baby loss, motherhood, Pregnancy, Uncategorized


Tomorrow is our 23 week midwife appointment and tonight I’m really concerned about it. We have the same midwife with our little girl as I did with Jason and lets face it, she didn’t pick up on anything with him then so why will this time be any different? 

Jason was measuring small throughout my whole pregnancy but due to the fact he was still growing our midwife didn’t see a reason for concern. He was 3lbs 6ozs born, okay he was 5 weeks early (although i’m not 100% convinced of this either!!) but that is small for any baby at 35 weeks. Why was it not flagged up and something could have been done to save him?

I worry that anything going wrong with our little girl will be pushed away too and although i’m feeling healthy and Bean seems to be wriggly I still worry that something bad will happen. I can not go through losing another child, I just won’t survive.

Every day of this pregnancy is difficult, I don’t seem to be enjoying it and i’m just wishing November would hurry up and come quickly!!


Wife & Mum of 2; Jason born and died 29/03/15 and Ellie born 01/11/16. Hoping to break the silence around baby loss and the journey of parenting a rainbow baby one blog post at a time.

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