baby loss · grief · motherhood · Pregnancy · pregnancy after loss

Mirrored Image.

Recently i’ve been feeling like this pregnancy is so similar to Jason’s pregnancy. As the weeks have gone on I’m finding more and more similarities.

Tomorrow is my last day of work before my Maternity Leave starts, I can’t quite believe i’ve made it this far. I am finishing earlier than last time. When I was pregnant with Jason i’d planned to work right up to the final weeks, I actually finished at 35 weeks but was unable to go in to work on my last day as i’d been throwing up that morning. This time round I am finished at 32 weeks and i’m determined to make it in to work tomorrow. I know its silly but by working my last day I’ve already done something to make this pregnancy different. I need to stop this pregnancy from feeling like last time.

I know the next few weeks are going to be difficult and I also know being at work and having that regular routine would probably be good for me however as I get nearer to the 35 week mark I’m becoming more and more anxious about leaving the house. I don’t want the pressure of HAVING to go out if I really don’t need to. I want to be able to enjoy a few weeks of nesting and getting ready for when our rainbow comes home. I want to be positive and I can only do that once this pregnancy is different.

Please bear with me in these few weeks, I may be blogging more than ever.
A x

3 thoughts on “Mirrored Image.

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