Posted in baby loss


35 weeks. 35 days until due date. 

Today I hit the 35 week milestone. Jason was born at 35+3 and this is the last milestone ive got to get through before this pregnancy feels different. I’ve been dreading this week since day 1. I’m envious of those women who get that excitement at only having 35 days left before their due date. I’m filled with angst and grief. I dont want to be a negative Nelly but I can’t help feeling that everything is going to go wrong. 

I’m so thankful that hubby is off work tomorrow and then I’ve got midwife Wednesday for extra checks on Bean. Thursday is the day where Bean will be the same gestation as Jason and I’m going to keep as busy as I can. 

Please don’t get me wrong, I dont want you to think I’m taking my pregnancy for granted. I’m making the most of feeling my rainbow wriggle inside me but I’m desperate to get her here and then she is finally safe ❤

A xxx


Wife & Mum of 2; Jason born and died 29/03/15 and Ellie born 01/11/16. Hoping to break the silence around baby loss and the journey of parenting a rainbow baby one blog post at a time.

5 thoughts on “35

  1. Ugh. 35/35. 35 weeks. 35 days to go. I remember the day I took that picture and I was so happy. So excited. I hope that this week is kind to you. We’re here for you!!! ((Hugs))


  2. Amy I’ve just sat and read all your blog, and can relate to every single word.
    I’m now 20 weeks and getting closer to the point that we lost Elsie. It’s also a year on 30th October that we lost her. My anxiety is sky high and can’t help but feel negative. My anxiety seems to be coming out in my dreams at the minute, I wake up and have panic attacks. Pregnancy after loss is so much harder then I imagined. I’m really struggling at the minute, one minute I’m down, the next I’m all snappy and then I can’t stop crying. I’ve had a cervical stitch put in so I’m praying it works.
    You’ve done so well to get to this point, sending you so much love for this week.
    Jason would be so proud. I’m so glad to have found your blog as I have no one really that can relate to how anxious time it is.
    I deleted instragram some time ago as I was struggling with seeing so many pregnancy announcements. xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lauren, i’m really sorry to hear about your loss. Congratulations on your pregnancy, it really is such an emotional time. As much as pregnancy after loss is hard you must try and find ways to help you relax, I have found that by writing this blog it does help my anxieties, by the time i’ve written about them I feel like I have control over them again. Maybe you would find this would help too. Are you being monitored more through this pregnancy? Elsie will be looking after you and sending you all the strength and love you need ❤ xxx


  3. You’ve done amazing to get this far, I never thought it would be as hard as it is. Have you had good care throughout yours? I’m under a pre premature clinic so get regular scans of my cervix to check the stitch is holding. It’s Elsie’s first birthday on the 30th October and I’m only two days behind what I was then, I can feel my anxiety slowly raising the past couple of days and just can’t get it out my head that it will happen again xxx


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