baby loss

28Th April…

Things have been going well here (probably the reason why I havent blogged for a while) and we are all in a good place mentally. Hubby is back at work and me and Ellie are getting into a nice little routine while we get to grips with 3 lots of solids a day!

We had decided to try and sell a few of Ellies things that she either hasnt used or grown out of already so yesterday I reactivated my old facebook account and put the items on there. This wasn’t a trigger for me as I knew I hadnt been on there in so long. How wrong I was.

Just as I had finished a friendly little reminder popped up at the top of my news feed. “28th April 2015 – the day I said goodbye to my Son and left with his ashes”. What a kick in the teeth to read something that sent my whole body in a fit of tears. I hadnt forgotten obviously, you dont just forget the day your son was cremated, I had chosen not to remember the date. The day of my sons funeral isnt something I want to remember it just adds another day to remember and when you mourn every day these dates arent that important. 

I hate that this is my life. I hate that Jason isnt here annoying his little sister. I hate Facebook for telling me what that day symbolises. 

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