Posted in life after loss, motherhood, mothering a rainbow, mummy blog, parenting, parenting after loss, rainbow baby, Uncategorized

Sleep Training.

I thought rather than go back over things I have written in the past (plenty of time for that I’m sure) I decided to focus on writing about our current sleep situation or lack of might I add.

Our LO has never been a great sleeper and from day 1 has always preferred to settle and sleep on either me or her Dad. By a few weeks old this had escalated in to only sleeping while she was being held, which was fine because we had longed to cuddle our baby to sleep for so long, it was always the thing I was most excited about during my first pregnancy.

Flash forward to 9 months later and we are pretty much in the same position as we were during the euphoric newborn days. Although Ellie will settle in her cot occasionally she still only sleeps when she is next to one of us which means when she wakes up at 1:30am as she does every night the only way of soothing her is cosleeping. Now I hated the idea of cosleeping, when your baby dies you try to find ways to stay clear of any situation that could cause your rainbow to die too. Before I carry on I must say that Jason did not die from SIDS or anything else that could have been prevented however I was convinced that Ellie would die and the cause would be SIDS. However when you are exhausted and your better half is such a heavy sleeper he doesnt wake until said baby is very upset it was the only way I could guarantee I would get some sleep so cosleep is what we have done…for the majority.

Ellie is put into her cot to start off with every night but we know inevitably she will wake in our bed. The one thing we found did work for Ellie and helped her settle was the Fisher-Price soothe and Glow Seahorse which we purchased during my pregnancy with Jason. This went in her Moses Basket with her from very early on and still soothes her at 9 months old. I just wish the night light would stay on without the calming music but it has been a life saver for us nonetheless.

This week we decided we were going to really try and train her to self-soothe. I can cope with waking up in the night if it was for food but waking up out of habit or from separation anxiety is killing me and I dont have a lot of patience. So far we have succeeded in day time naps, she is put down when she starts rubbing her eyes and settles herself well for a good hour and half which she has never done before! Ellies naps usually last 20 minutes if Im lucky! Nights are still an issue though, i am trying to persevere with the sleep training but really struggling. Anyone got any tips I could try that doesnt involve leaving her to cry.


Wife & Mum of 2; Jason born and died 29/03/15 and Ellie born 01/11/16. Hoping to break the silence around baby loss and the journey of parenting a rainbow baby one blog post at a time.

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