life after loss · motherhood · mothering a rainbow · mummy blog · parenting · parenting after loss · rainbow baby · Uncategorized

Our Summer.

And so with a blink of an eye, Summer is over and we are all back to work this week.

Usually by the end of the summer holidays I am more than ready to get back into a routine however this year is so different to all the others. This year Luke has been off too, we are used to him getting a week off at a push but now he is working in schools too we had him with us for the entire Summer which was amazing and obviously Ellie was here too. My first Summer holiday with a baby to entertain. When pregnant with Jason I dreamed of all the places I would take him when we were both on holiday and those dreams were gone when he died.

This year we took Ellie to some of the places I had dreamt of taking Jason. And although the days out were filled with happiness and so much love I also felt bitter that I couldnt have Jason with us too.

Ellie has loved having us both to herself for 6 weeks and Im not sure how she will adjust to the new routine once she realises we have gone to work. Im lucky as my mum will look after her while I am at work and I only work PT time which means my afternoons can be spent with her so Im hoping it wont affect her too much.

After being on maternity leave and then the summer off I am finding it hard making work a priority, in my head I wont have time to fit everything in. There just isnt enough hours in the day for me to work right? If anyone is willing to pay me to be a housemum then im all for it but im 99.9%sure that isnt going to happen.

Our last day as a family is today and weve spent it in our pyjamas, resting and playing with the little madam we call Ellie. Ive got the ironing done and work things are prepared. I am fortunate that I actually dont start back until Tuesday but tomorrow will be spent doing a food shop, gift shopping and visiting people so its pretty much a write off BUT I am grateful for that one extra day while Luke is at work. Some proper mother daughter bonding ❤

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