Posted in grief, life after loss, motherhood, mothering a rainbow, mummy blog, parenting, parenting after loss, rainbow baby, telford, Uncategorized


Ita 2:29am and I am wide awake, ive been listening to Ellie shuffle around in her cot for the past half an hour.

Waiting for her to settle. We have started leaving her a small cup of water at the bottom of her cot because she is still poorly.

Since Sunday morning myself and Ellie have been hit with the sickness bug and seeing as we like to share we passed it on to my parents too. By Friday I felt so much better however Ellie still isnt 100%.

She isnt eating much in the day, not even touching her tea all week which for anyone who knows her will know she will try and eat anything. Even the pizza off your plate. She has also had very bad diarrhea (which may also be linked to the new teeth ive seen on the horizon). I have scrubbed at my carpet while trying not to be sick myself to take away the smell. The joys of parenthood. (I initially wrote motherhood but hey Dads do this too!!)

Ellie has also taken to being sick in the night, she isnt crying or making a fuss but then falling back to sleep in the sick. We havent been waking as it hasnt bothered her in the slightest but when I woke to hear her having a drink I thought it would be best to check on her. I hate thinking shes not waking up to be sick, im sure she is but thats a huge worry. I hate not waking up myself because dont all mothers have that natural instinct? Lately I feel like ive lost mine somewhere. I hate that she is waking up feeling poorly and not having the cuddles she deserves.

I think she may have finally dozed back to sleep so I will pop my head in and check she is okay.

Fingers crossed 🙈 x


Wife & Mum of 2; Jason born and died 29/03/15 and Ellie born 01/11/16. Hoping to break the silence around baby loss and the journey of parenting a rainbow baby one blog post at a time.

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