I have mentioned before that I am taking part in #AdventToRemember set up by the lovely Jess from The Legacy Of Leo in memory of Jason. Jess and her partner Nat used this approach last year on their first Christmas without their Son Leo and decided to invite others to take part with them this year too.
I absolutely love Christmas, the build up and the day however I would be lying if I said I didnt find some aspects of Christmas difficult since Jason died. There is a part of me who wants to boycott it, I dont want to celebrate anything if Jason can’t be with me however my natural instinct is to enjoy it as much as I can especially now Ellie is here.
This year I felt like I wanted to do something special for Jason and that is exactly what I am doing in taking part in #AdventToRemember.
1st December: Donate a Bear to Aching Arms
For anyone who knows me know how much my Aching Arms Lily bear means to me. I received this bear at a time where I couldnt deal with my emotions, I couldnt hold my baby but I cried for him every day. My bear gave me something to hold in my darker days and even now a squeeze of Lily bear makes me feel like in some way I am hugging Jason and showing him his mummy will always love me. To some I probably sound like Ive lost my marbles and I probably has but my bear brings me comfort. Since losing Jason I have donated a few bears in his name and memory whenever money has allowed but I make it a special tradition to donate at christmas time. I like to hope that my Jason bears are bringing another family as much hope as my bear brings me.
Today, for the first time I took Lily Bear off my bedside table and gave her to Ellie. She gave it a little cuddle (before tossing it aside) and I feel like she knew what this special bear represents.
For anyone who would like to donate or find out about The Legacy Of Leo or Aching Arms please see my list of Inspirational Blogs page.
I am hoping to blog each day about my Advent For Jason but if not I will catch up as much as I can. For anyone who wants to follow mine or anyone else’s Advent To Remember please check out my instagram page or the hashtag #adventtoremember #adventforjason