Publicity.

We live in a world where you can’t do anything without it being publicised over social media. Lives are based on how many likes/followers someone has or focusing on what celebrities are doing. Unless your life is “instagram worthy” whats the point? Social media has given us the option for perfection. Nobody wants to post pictures of a messy house or a no makeup selfie. Nobody wants strangers to see the real them. Yet people forget that social media can be edited, people can appear to be perfect when in reality they are far from it. I try so hard to get the instagram worthy pictures but fail miserably. My house is untidy, i rarely have makeup on and i am not perfect.

For some publicity is a good thing. Living in the baby loss world has proven how valuable publicity and social media can be. If it wasnt for others talking openly about it I still wouldnt believe it happened to others. If it wasnt for people openly talking about their own experiences i wouldnt have had the nerve to openly talk about Jason. For me i find there isnt enough public knowledge of baby loss/stillbirth/neonatal loss yet a baby just so happens to be born in to royalty and the press go mad.

It has been physically everywhere all day and as a loss mama who knows anything can happen suddenly found this traumatising. I didnt want to hear it because it brought me right back co being told Jason had died, to Luke having to ring our family and telling them and then having to deal with this information. That was heartbreaking and ill i kept imagining was how much worse it would be being in the public eye and having to tell millions of people. I didnt want anything to go wrong of cause but when your eyes are opened to this whole scary experience its hard to think of anything else really. Im not really bothered about babies being born in general, the old me would have loved it and would get excited at there being a baby somewhere to cuddle but now im different and I wouldnt care if i never heard a pregnancy/baby announcement again. I can still feel this way but be happy for the parents once baby is born right?

I suppose I just needed to rant tonight. Sometimes I forget that living life after cremating your only Son is hard and sometimes things bother me more than other times.