baby loss · baby loss awareness · grief · life after loss · motherhood · mothering a rainbow · mummy blog · parenting · parenting after loss

How You Know You’re A Parent…

I read an article this morning on how you know you are a parent and I realised how insensitive these types of articles can be. There are so many posts similar to this and I have read a few over the last few months and although the intention of these is never to cause upset for those parents without their babies it really is like a kick in the teeth.

Yes, it is quite obvious that there are certain things that happen when you are a conventional parent that makes you realise you are responsible for a small child; yes you usually end up leaving the house with food/sick/bodily fluids over your clothes and you are so tired you forget to put coffee in your coffee but these arent the signs of parenting a baby from afar. Those signs are very different.

Before Ellie my way of parenting was so different to the average parent. Instead of walking around with a pushchair I watched my sons coffin being carried into the crematoriam for a funeral I had to plan. Instead of registering his birth we sat in a waiting room waiting to register his death. Parenting comes in many different forms and there is no rule book, especially in regards to baby loss. Nobody can tell you the right way to parent a child who isnt with you because it shouldnt happen.

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