baby loss · baby loss awareness · Baby loss awareness week · Blaw2018 · grief · life after loss · motherhood · mothering a rainbow · Mum Blogger · mummy blog · Neonatal Loss · parenting · parenting after loss · pregnancy after loss · pregnancy and infant loss · Pregnancy Loss

Dear Jason

Jason Phillips ๐Ÿ’™

You are in my thoughts every hour of every day. I wish I remembered what it felt like holding you, I wish I remembered what you smelt like. I wish I knew what colour eyes you had or whether you had any birth marks. I wish I had taken more pictures, I wish I had one of us. I wish I had dressed you in one of those outfits I spent hours deciding on but would have been far too big for your tiny 3lbs 6ozs body. I wish I had a cast of your hands and toes to hold when I miss you a little too much. I wish you got to meet your little sister and I was able to have pictures of you both together, of our family complete. We will never be complete with you gone. I wish she knew her big brother is the best big brother ever.

 

Most of all I wish I didnt know about baby loss awareness week or that babies die even though everything seems fine because that would mean you were still here.

I would give my own life in a heartbeat so that you could live yours.

One thought on “Dear Jason

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