This weekend has been a tough one. The one before Jason’s birthday. The one where we were meant to make some family memories. The one where Ellie had the most epic tantrum of all time. The one where Mummy cried far more than I would like to admit.
The one where it all went tits up basically.
I have found that making plans spontaneously means those plans can get broken very quickly. We decided to “celebrate” Jason’s birthday early this year as we aren’t sure how I am going to feel with Mother’s Day following his birthday this weekend and wanted to take Ellie to the Zoo. Unfortunately we didn’t make it to the Zoo as by 8:30 Ellie had multiple trips to “the step” and I was defeated.
The day didn’t seem to get any better and it just felt wrong. I so badly needed to spend time together as a family that I think it made it harder to deal with Ellie’s tantrums. It’s hard being a parent after baby loss. It’s hard being a parent.
Mothering A Rainbow 
you are doing a brilliant job amy dont think your not how you cope with the loss of jason is awe inspiring and ellie has all the love she needs she at that age where she is seeing what buttons she can press to get a reaction she can feel your emotions as friday approaches just take a breather you are a great mum love you all the monies in the world mum xx
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Your family is so beautiful and your beautiful mom! You’re such a strong woman.
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Thank you ❤️
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