Today has been tough, I’ve been in a slump since Ellie woke me up at half 5 and I’ve really struggled to get out of it. I didn’t want to get dressed or get ready for the day; that meant I had to go to work and I didn’t want to do that either. So I got dressed and I went to work. Being an adult means you do things you don’t want to do and that is life.
Work was pretty standard, I just feel so unmotivated at the minute that I am dragging my feet and just getting through the morning as best as I can. I’ve always loved my job, I love moulding children and helping them find a passion in their learning. Lately the passion seems to be fizzing out, it happens most years as we get closer to the Summer Holidays and the end of the academic year but this year feels different. I am anxious and nervous about what the new school year holds and this is making it harder to get motivated. I know it will pass, today was a tough day, tomorrow may not be.
The one good thing is that Ellie has been wonderful since we came home. We have played, laughed, she’s eaten ALL of her tea which is rare at the minute and gone to bed nice and happy. We played in her room, read LOTS of stories and listened to her choice of film to help settle her ready for bed at 8pm. I do want to add that Ellie’s film of choice tonight was The Polar Express which made me cringe and secretly warm up inside because as you know Christmas is my favourite time of the year. She talked about going on the train last year and remembered so much of our Polar Express journey and she amazed me with her memory. I can’t wait to take her again this year and know she is going to remember it.
I’m not quite sure where this post is going really. I just needed to get things out of my head and on to paper (so to speak). Ultimately this post was a reminder to myself and to anyone reading that we all have bad days; those days where we don’t have any “get up and go” and just wait for bedtime to arrive. A couple of times today I’ve wondered whether I am good enough yet I know the answer. Yes I am. On my good days I am more than good enough, I am good at being a Mum and I’m good at my job. I am usually a very positive person and I give my all to everything I do. Today wasn’t a good day but I am still good enough. I still went to work and did everything I needed to do, I still did a food shop (quite cheaply too!) and got what we needed for the week. I’ve planned our evening meals, I’ve done tomorrow’s lunch for the three of us. The house is clean, Ellie is happy. That makes me good enough.
Always believe YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH!