In an ideal world I'd have been one of those nervous parents waiting to find out what school my boy had gotten in to. In an ideal world he'd have been accepted to the primary school where I work! In an ideal world I'd already have his uniform, or parts of it in preparation and… Continue reading Primary School Offer Day
I can't help but wonder whether that day was when everything started going wrong. Illness had struck, I worked in a nursery at the time and the sickness bug had hit the kids. The day I was due to finish for my maternity I ended up having off as I was being sick and I… Continue reading 27th March
This weekend has been a tough one. The one before Jason's birthday. The one where we were meant to make some family memories. The one where Ellie had the most epic tantrum of all time. The one where Mummy cried far more than I would like to admit. The one where it all went tits… Continue reading Weekends
I have been a mummy for 3 years, 11 months and 15 days and I am learning something new every day.
Goodbye February, this month has been a mixed month. I started off feeling very low and depressed and finished the month off feeling grateful and full of love. As a family we have made so many memories and spent a whole week together having lots of fun. With the end of February comes March, a… Continue reading Goodbye February
In exactly 77 days Jason would have been 4 years old and I have lived 1386 days without him. This seems bizarre as the day he was born I wasn't sure I was ever going to be able to live without him. I had spent 35 weeks awaiting his arrival, getting to know his little… Continue reading Crowdfunding
Throughout October we remember: All the babies born sleeping. Those we've carried but never met. Those we've held but could not take home. The ones that came home but could not stay. Help break the silence. Help remember our Angels. October is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month and on the 15th the whole… Continue reading Miles In Memory
Celebrations are a funny thing when grieving. Sometimes they are filled with dread, a birthday, a due date, the anniversary of the death. Even happier times can be dreaded, holidays without that person, anniversaries etc. Our Anniversary wasn't dreaded, for the first time ever we were looking forward to our anniversary. Something we haven't had… Continue reading Celebrations.
I've been quiet for the past few days, I haven't really known what to write or how I'm feeling. Since the release of the Pokemon Go app i've felt like myself again. The old me. Not the me who has had a baby and cremated her baby but the childish girl who loved Pokemon growing… Continue reading Pokemon Go…
Tomorrow is our 23 week midwife appointment and tonight I'm really concerned about it. We have the same midwife with our little girl as I did with Jason and lets face it, she didn't pick up on anything with him then so why will this time be any different? Jason was measuring small throughout my… Continue reading Uncertainty.