In an ideal world I'd have been one of those nervous parents waiting to find out what school my boy had gotten in to. In an ideal world he'd have been accepted to the primary school where I work! In an ideal world I'd already have his uniform, or parts of it in preparation and… Continue reading Primary School Offer Day
Tag: bereavedparent
Crowdfunding
In exactly 77 days Jason would have been 4 years old and I have lived 1386 days without him. This seems bizarre as the day he was born I wasn't sure I was ever going to be able to live without him. I had spent 35 weeks awaiting his arrival, getting to know his little… Continue reading Crowdfunding
Miles In Memory
Throughout October we remember: All the babies born sleeping. Those we've carried but never met. Those we've held but could not take home. The ones that came home but could not stay. Help break the silence. Help remember our Angels. October is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month and on the 15th the whole… Continue reading Miles In Memory
Celebrations.
Celebrations are a funny thing when grieving. Sometimes they are filled with dread, a birthday, a due date, the anniversary of the death. Even happier times can be dreaded, holidays without that person, anniversaries etc. Our Anniversary wasn't dreaded, for the first time ever we were looking forward to our anniversary. Something we haven't had… Continue reading Celebrations.
Pokemon Go…
I've been quiet for the past few days, I haven't really known what to write or how I'm feeling. Since the release of the Pokemon Go app i've felt like myself again. The old me. Not the me who has had a baby and cremated her baby but the childish girl who loved Pokemon growing… Continue reading Pokemon Go…
Uncertainty.
Tomorrow is our 23 week midwife appointment and tonight I'm really concerned about it. We have the same midwife with our little girl as I did with Jason and lets face it, she didn't pick up on anything with him then so why will this time be any different? Jason was measuring small throughout my… Continue reading Uncertainty.
Spiritualism…
I've always been a believer of spiritualism and what it contains however I've never really thought of it as a religion as I don't believe in a God or anything like that. Yet spiritualism has been helpful for me in my grief... Since losing Jason, I made it a habit to go one every fortnight… Continue reading Spiritualism…
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room?
Yesterday I found myself sat alone, in our spare room (hopefully soon to be Baby Bean's room) on the floor crying. I was still crying when Hubby got home from work. I hated feeling so vulnerable, especially after i'd had such a lovely day resting. There was no need for me to suddenly feel so… Continue reading Have you ever been alone in a crowded room?
Pregnancy Announcements After Loss…
Everyone deals with loss differently. Everyone deals with social situations differently. For me, when a pregnancy announcement has been made I feel a stab in my chest, I have to catch my breath and I feel anger. Not anger towards the person making the announcement, don't misread what I type, I am usually genuinely happy… Continue reading Pregnancy Announcements After Loss…
What if…
"What" and "if" are two words as non-threatening as words can be. But put them together side by side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life. On this journey of grief it is easy to get lost, in yourself, in your surroundings, in your mind. I find myself… Continue reading What if…
