It's been so lovely having time off with Luke and Ellie, we all broke up for the Easter half term last monday and this week has been spent getting on top of the housework, it gets so run down when we are both at work and Ellie needs constant attention to function without tantrums. We… Continue reading Good Friday
Wow the terrible twos are in full swing over here. I have always heard that redheads have fiery tempers but I'd never fully believed that hair colour could define temper yet I seem to have the fiestiest toddler ever! Her temper is definitely worse more recently. She has learnt to scream, tighten her fists and… Continue reading Fiesty Redhead
Do you ever feel like the world is spinning so fast and you start to feel so dizzy and there's no way of slowly it down? As much as I am putting in to life and being present, my own mental health is taking a huge bashing. I am constantly worried about everyone else, about… Continue reading Breakdown
I started this blog to help with my grief, a strategy to let my emotions spill out on to the page and release my head of everything going on. For me, this meant I could be a stronger person for everyone else, I could deal with my own grief in a quieter, more private way… Continue reading Proud Mummy Moment!
Celebrations are a funny thing when grieving. Sometimes they are filled with dread, a birthday, a due date, the anniversary of the death. Even happier times can be dreaded, holidays without that person, anniversaries etc. Our Anniversary wasn't dreaded, for the first time ever we were looking forward to our anniversary. Something we haven't had… Continue reading Celebrations.
I've been quiet for the past few days, I haven't really known what to write or how I'm feeling. Since the release of the Pokemon Go app i've felt like myself again. The old me. Not the me who has had a baby and cremated her baby but the childish girl who loved Pokemon growing… Continue reading Pokemon Go…
Tomorrow is our 23 week midwife appointment and tonight I'm really concerned about it. We have the same midwife with our little girl as I did with Jason and lets face it, she didn't pick up on anything with him then so why will this time be any different? Jason was measuring small throughout my… Continue reading Uncertainty.
I've always been a believer of spiritualism and what it contains however I've never really thought of it as a religion as I don't believe in a God or anything like that. Yet spiritualism has been helpful for me in my grief... Since losing Jason, I made it a habit to go one every fortnight… Continue reading Spiritualism…
Yesterday I found myself sat alone, in our spare room (hopefully soon to be Baby Bean's room) on the floor crying. I was still crying when Hubby got home from work. I hated feeling so vulnerable, especially after i'd had such a lovely day resting. There was no need for me to suddenly feel so… Continue reading Have you ever been alone in a crowded room?
Everyone deals with loss differently. Everyone deals with social situations differently. For me, when a pregnancy announcement has been made I feel a stab in my chest, I have to catch my breath and I feel anger. Not anger towards the person making the announcement, don't misread what I type, I am usually genuinely happy… Continue reading Pregnancy Announcements After Loss…