Tag: mum blog

Posted in 2 years old, motherhood, mothering a rainbow, Mum Blogger, mummy blog, parenting, rainbow baby, Rainbow Mummy, telford

Fiesty Redhead

Posted on by Amy

Wow the terrible twos are in full swing over here. I have always heard that redheads have fiery tempers but I’d never fully believed that hair colour could define temper yet I seem to have the fiestiest toddler ever!

Her temper is definitely worse more recently. She has learnt to scream, tighten her fists and shout as loud as she possibly can. I’m 100% sure our neighbours either hate us or thinks we are trying to kill her.

Anyone else’s toddler squeal like a banshee when she’s in a complete meltdown? Or is it just mine? She is so incredibly loud too so the banshee noise travels throughout the house. Earlier on today a meltdown happened over not being carried down the stairs, the squealing started and I had to walk away. I really struggle walking away, I don’t want Ellie to hate being on her own because we leave when she is having a tantrum but today we both needed 2 minutes to calm down and the noise from upstairs was deafening.

I know tantrums are all part of being a toddler; exhurting independence and learning about boundaries and I believe E needs to learn early on that this behaviour is not acceptable but I also know this is a healthy part of her growing up and I don’t want to squash her fiestiness too.

God parenting is a minefield!

Posted in 2 years old, Gifted, Instrument Play, Instruments, motherhood, mothering a rainbow, Mum Blogger, mummy blog, Music, parenting, Play, product review, Sensory, Sensory Play, Toddler Development, Toddler Play

The Percussion Box – Review (Gifted)

Posted on by Amy

Recently I have been so excited for the launch of a new small business on Instagram, The Little Sensory Box, a sensory box designed mainly for babies up to the age of 12 months. Or I was excited until I realised Ellie was quite a bit older than 12 months! I love supporting small businesses though, it is something I have wanted to do for some time and never had the confidence to even think about setting up. I am a firm believer in sensory play and that it gives babies (toddlers and those with additional needs!) a fantastic way to boost their own development which has meant I have been keen to support Dee and her new business.

Ellie (and Mummy!) was so excited when our box arrived!

Dee, the creator of The Little Sensory Box, contacted me as she was hoping to make these boxes as toddler-friendly as possible, offering parents of toddlers the option to still create the magic of sensory play at home and so sent us one of her Percussion Boxes to test out and review. 

Before I continue I must tell you this was a gifted collaboration
with the Little Sensory Box however this 
review is completely my own thoughts and opinions based on 
Ellie’s play/enjoyment.

The Percussion Box (which is specified as being suitable for up to 18 months however Ellie is 27 months old and loves it!) has a variety of items which dominantly develops hand-eye coordination, sense of rhythm and listening skills. For Ellie, this was definitely true, she loved dancing around and making her own music with the large Handbell and even recreated her favourite songs from our local Hartbeeps class with the Egg Shaker.

We experimented with different sounds, the handbell is much louder than the maracas which meant we could play around and encourage/teach Ellie the idea of loud and quiet using the instruments. Of cause she much preferred the louder sounds but focused so well on listening for the quietness of the maracas.

Baby Shark is much more exciting when you are dancing along with maracas!

Ellie is keen to make music and is always running around with her flute (which is loud, plastic, blue and REALLY annoying!) so I loved that these were beautifully decorated with bright colours and I can control the volume by encouraging quiet play which I can’t do with the flute. I also liked that each instrument was wooden and not plastic, they are robust so I know Ellie isn’t going to break them easily.

  • Ellie enjoying the items included in The Percussion Box.



The Percussion Box is just £8.99 which in my opinion is a great price for the items we received and will continue to entertain Ellie for a long time.

You can purchase The Percussion Box from here
Or you could have a look at the other two boxes available to buy, although we haven’t tested out The Ultimate Box or The Look and Feel Sensory Box, I am sure both have items that would still be suitable for toddlers too

The Little Sensory Box is also on Instagramand Facebook

Posted in baby loss, baby loss awareness, grief, life after loss, motherhood, Mum Blogger, mummy blog, Neonatal Loss, parenting, parenting after loss, pregnancy and infant loss, stillbirth, telford

Gone Too Soon

Posted on by Amy

Not a day goes by

That I don’t think of you

I’m always asking why

This crazy world had to lose

Such a ray of light we never know

Gone too soon

Whenever I use the laptop to do some blogging I always find myself listening to the same songs. Sad songs. Ones that make me think about grief and death and everything that has happened to my family.

It makes me sad, angry, confused but it makes me feel closer to Jason somehow, like by listening to sad songs it reminds me that it is okay to not feel okay. It’s okay that I’ve felt so low and confused but I’ve lashed out at those I love for no reason and I don’t know why.

You are my one and only

You can wrap your fingers round my thumb

And hold me tight.

And you’ll be alright.

Maybe you were needed up there

But we’re still unaware as why.

Lyrics are incredibly powerful, you can feel so much just by really listening to lyrics. Sometimes the happiest sounding songs are the ones filled with the most unhappy memories. For a long time after Jason died I couldn’t listen to music. I remembered spending hours and hours searching for the perfect songs to play at our wedding, each one linking in someway to our relationship, our love and I remembered the joy it gave me.

Like a shooting star
Flying across the room
So fast so far
You were gone too soon
You’re a part of me
And I’ll never be the same here without you
You were gone too soon

The next time I researched the perfect music was for my son’s funeral. Can you imagine how that feels? Finding the perfect music knowing you will never be able to listen to that song in the same way? Knowing that the next time you will have to listen to it is when you are standing looking at that tiny coffin that is holding the baby you longed for so much.

Music was no longer my safe place, it was there reminding me that I was going through the worst and it didn’t matter how happy the music sounded, each one made me miss him so much. Like I said, it took me a long time to find joy in listening to lyrics again but sometimes you need to wallow in your own grief, find those sad songs and sing them as loud (in your head in my case!) as you can and belt out those feelings. For me, this is as much a type of therapy as if I was actually having counselling; it’s a way for me to remember that my life turned upside down, I didn’t know how I was going to make it to the next day, I couldn’t imagine a life without Jason. I didn’t want to imagine a life without him. Sometimes I still wonder whether I’ll wake up one morning and he’d be here, sometimes my mind wanders to a life with him in and it hurts so much knowing i’ll never know what that life could have been like.

Lately I have been struggling balancing life, work and everything in between. I have no patience, I am cranky and frankly a bitch. I don’t really understand why Luke stays with me, I put him through so much and I’ll never forgive myself for making him go through all of this. To the outside world I have dealt with Jason’s death with strength but inside that’s so not true. I am not strong, I’m just good at showing people what they want to see. Society wants us to “get over it” “move on” and although I am open in talking about Jason, every time I have to explain his death my heart breaks once again.

Posted in life after loss, motherhood, mothering a rainbow, Mum Blogger, mummy blog, parenting, parenting after loss

The Step.

Posted on by Amy

Ellie’s behaviour has been a true description of the terrible twos lately; she is quickly becoming more independent and as a result of this she is definitely testing the boundaries (and our patience!) on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis.  

Both myself and hubby work with children/young adults with extra needs and deal with the same sorts of toddler-like behaviour at work, so it feels like such a challenge to stay calm and composed at home when we’ve had to do it all day at work. I would say my patience is much shorter at home than at work and I wish it wasn’t. It isn’t Ellie’s fault at all and I know she is just learning how to deal with her emotions and her new found desire to be independent and her behaviour is quite normal.

But how do you try to nip it in the bud before it gets too difficult?

I’ve never been good at the cry-it-out method, I can’t sit and listen to her cry no matter how many people tell me “it’s worth it in the long run”. If she is crying I know there is a reason for it and I won’t let her grow up thinking I’m not there for her when she needs me. 

We started counting to three when she does something she shouldn’t do and then when she carried on we would carry her up to her bedroom and close the stair gate, sometimes I would leave her and come downstairs for two minutes and sometimes I would sit in her room while she screamed it out of her. However I don’t think this is really the best way to teach her that her behaviour isn’t good and I don’t want it to have a counter effect and she learns that her bedroom is a punishment, she barely sleeps in there as it is so I want her room to be her calm space, HERS, where we read stories, play and hopefully one day sleep through the night in her own bed. 

This is where “the step” comes in to play. I HATE the phrase “naughty step” as I feel the word naughty describes the child and not the behaviour, Ellie is not naughty, she is exploring the boundaries and seeing how far she can go, she is learning and I don’t want her to believe she is a naughty child. I know that this is thinking too deeply and a 2 year old isn’t going to be thinking this but I am always thinking of her future too. I’ve started calling it “the step” and putting her on it whenever counting to three doesn’t work. We seem to be using it more at tea times as Ellie doesn’t sit at a table or high chair and can be a little madam. I have found having the step keeps me calm, I put her on the bottom step, explain to her why she is there (she doesn’t really understand but I tell her anyway) and tell her to come back in when she is ready. Usually she waits for me to sit down and strides in with a big smile on her face (rolls eyes!!) and we end up repeating the process at least three times before she says sorry and we move on.  

I know there are lots of pros and cons to using a time out like the step or a corner and I realise there are more cons than pros but for now it seems to be helping defuse the situation before it becomes a full on tantrum. I must say Ellie has had less tantrums in the past few days than she’s had in months.

Has the “naughty” step ever worked or not worked for you? Do you have another way of dealing with this type of behaviour in toddlers? I’d love to hear what you guys think too.

Posted in #BeASuperstar, Alder Hey, baby clothing, baby fashion, clothing, fashion, life after loss, motherhood, mothering a rainbow, Mum Blogger, mummy blog, parenting, parenting after loss, rainbow baby, Rainbow Mummy, toddler fashion

#beasuperstar

Posted on by Amy

It all started a few years ago when my brother who if I remember rightly was around 17 at the time woke up and had quite a traumatic situation happen (which I won’t go in to the gory details) and meant he needed a very quick trip to A&E to be checked out. Any one who know’s my brother knows he can be quite dramatic at times and we had assumed this event wasn’t too serious however we were wrong.

A trip to A&E meant we had learnt that my brother had quite a poorly bladder, and had had this for quite some time…possibly from birth and this meant he needed to be taken to Alder Hey Hospital as our local hospital did not have the facilities to support him. My family were quite worried as Liverpool isn’t around the corner and it meant close to a 2 hour drive for my Dad there and back each day and he was in hospital for about a week I think. Due to his Down Syndrome, Alder Hey allowed him to stay on the children’s ward, he was mentally the same age as the other children on the ward and it helped knowing he would be acknowledged as both a child and a young adult. I remember being so incredibly scared, thinking he was going to die, a worry I had from a young age, and I’d be left without my wonderful, loving brother. Alder Hey were absolutely amazing with him and my family and I will always be grateful to them for their amazing facilities as without them my brother may not have been here today.

I share this story as a bit of a background as to why I feel such a need to participate in Matalan’s collaboration with Alder Hey around this time of year. For anyone who doesn’t know, for the past few years Matalan have released a special set of pyjamas/dog outfits/socks in partnership with Alder Hey in a bid to raise money AND most importantly awareness for a charity/hospital who do their VERY best to change the lives of their patients and families during their stay.

This partnership has been a huge hit since day one and the first year it became very difficult to get any of the merchandise however my Mother-in-law triumphed and was able to get Ellie a #getyourstripeson onesie for her very first christmas. She was a month old and I felt so proud that she was already supporting such a wonderful cause. Deep down I know had Jason lived, he most probably would have needed the care from Alder Hey too so it feels important to me that I support it whenever I can.

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December 2016 – #GetYourStripes

Last year I was aware of how much support this campaign receives so I was quick to order mine and Ellie’s matching PJs. It was the first time we had anything that matched and it emphasised my love for matching clothes! I felt like the design held a part of Jason as along with the spots, there was a small blue elephant, which is Alder Hey’s mascot, but I felt so connected to him when I wore them and matched as if I had some way of keeping both my babies close.

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December 2017 – #GetSpotted

I hadn’t really thought about this years campaign until it appeared on my FB timeline and I actually squealed with excitement. This year seems to have gone so fast, so much has happened and I currently have so much going on in my head that I am constantly chasing my tail. Once again, I ordered matching PJ’s for me and Ellie. I still wear my spots with pride however Ellie’s have been too small for quite some time now and it’s great knowing these should fit her for most of the year now she is in 2-3 years clothes rather than months!

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September 2018 – #BeASuperstar

I must say I am slightly disappointed that this years design doesn’t include the Alder Hey elephant however Ellie is so obsessed with stars and she is started to learn colours that we have had loads of fun matching the blue stars on our matching pyjamas so it is still a huge hit with us.

Collage 2018-09-21 18_43_04
September 2018 – #BeASuperstar

To sum up these PJs are super comfy, unisex so hide all my mum-tum flabby bits and are actually quite generous in size. They are nice and warm, perfect for the 4 months of snow we are apparently going to have this winter! For Ellie, the cuffed arms and legs are perfect as they are still slightly big for her (she’s not quite 2 yet) so ensure she isn’t always falling out of them. They are bright and colourful and have already given her lots of play with colours.

You can order yours here!

I am already excited for what next year’s designs will look like!
Anyone else got their #BeASuperStar PJ’s? I’d love to see them!

Posted in Chester Zoo, days out, life after loss, motherhood, mothering a rainbow, mummy blog, parenting, parenting after loss, rainbow baby, telford, Uncategorized, Zoo

Chester Zoo with a toddler.

Posted on by Amy

On Tuesday we took a drive out to Chester Zoo, it’s just over an hours drive from Telford and we had pre-booked our tickets the night before. Tickets purchased online are actually cheaper than paying when you get there and can be purchased right up until 9:30 the morning you are planning your trip which I thought was pretty good. We had asked both our brothers if they wanted to come too so spent the day with them which Ellie loved. With my brother having Down Syndrome it also meant that as his carer for the day I got in for free (which we then halved the price of the ticket so he didn’t pay full adult), as a family with a disabled member I find it makes me want to visit more places when they allow for the carer or a discounted price for those with the special needs. I thought as his DS isn’t as obvious as others we might get questioned but they let us through without any hassle.

I have to say that for the entire journey it rained…no it didn’t rain it poured! I was seriously considering going home and wasting the money we had spent because the weather was so bad but knowing we had planned for bad weather and packed accordingly we knew the weather wasn’t going to stop us from enjoying Ellie’s first trip to the zoo.
Due to the weather and timing we were able to park on the main car park, which is FREE! I’d forgotten to bring any change with me so was grateful when we realised we didn’t need change for parking. We loaded up Ellie’s pushchair and made our way to the entrance, there was no need to queue as we’d already got our tickets so we went straight through, it didn’t seem to be very busy but i’m guessing that was because of the weather however it did stop raining and although it was dull, we were dry! The Zoo hires out buggy’s and other mobility services (wheelchairs being free too!) which if we hadn’t have taken our own we’d have needed as Ellie decided to nap half way through the day but after all the walking she did I’m not surprised!

Chester Zoo has such a special place in my heart, we go there at least once a year and I’ve been with a Jason bump and an Ellie bump which I guess is why I feel such a family connection whenever we go.

We were provided with a map (which I can never quite get my head around) and downloaded the free app to help us find our way. I found the app so useful as it had an interactive map that showed you where you are in the park at any time, it also had all the daily activities listed such as animals talks which if Ellie had been older we may have listened in on.

This was a great test to Ellie’s Tresspass Reins (click for my review) and they meant she was able to walk without us worrying about her wondering off. I must say taking a 17 month old to the Zoo was a tall order but the zoo is so spacious and well planned out that it didn’t feel overwhelming at all. I was a little bit worried that we were wasting our money on a day trip just for Ellie to see the animals but as she is so inquisitive she was quite happy just looking at the animals and walking was enough to make her happy.

We took our time visiting the animals and got to see all the ones we wanted to. At busier times certain animals were harder to see because of people crowding (the red ape realm, jaguar enclosure being the worst for getting a toddler to a window to see). Our first stop of the day was the elephants, I love their enclosure and since Jason died I have linked elephants (Dumbo in particular) to him so they were my favourite part of the day by far!

We saw one elephant feeding and a few baby elephants too which made my heart feel so much love. (Disclosure – I am not an animal person, I don’t want pets, I’m not keen on dogs and I don’t watch David Attenborough because I find him boring so to feel so much love for an elephant baffles me but I did.) We strolled off to find some other animals and was excited to show Ellie her favourite animal “Ra-Ra” that is a lion to you and me. I don’t think Ellie had realised that the lions were RaRa as she was more interested in the giant puddle near the lion enclosure and spent a good few minutes stomping and getting wet in the puddle. While walking around we encouraged Ellie to look at the animals we thought she might recognise and made the noises to help her associate them with her books and little toys.

I love that you can take your own picnic in to the Zoo, which for us meant it would be a much cheaper day out and I could pack Ellie’s lunch with her favourite fruit pouches and snacks. We were planning on buying ice creams but it was far too cold and now I regret it! There were plenty of places to buy food and drinks from dotted all over the park with quite a large variety too however as you could expect it wasn’t cheap, a small tray of chips and curry sauce was £2.50 where as it was around £7-£9 for a meal.

I was a bit nervous at having to change Ellie in public, we tend to avoid it as much as possible as she hates getting her nappy changed; however I was pleasantly surprised to find that not only was there plenty of baby changing facilities but they were in both male and female toilets! They were clean and spacious and made the change much easier…even if Ellie did cry throughout the whole thing and the other Mum’s in the toilet area gave me a look as we toddled out with tears down her face.

We eventually saw the Giraffes and the Congo Buffalos which I think were Ellie’s favourite animals of the day, I’m not sure why but she kept dragging us back to them. I loved the Orangutan and the monkeys and were so lucky that two came up close to the window and Ellie was able to get a good look at them. However, as mentioned before, the Red Ape Realm was quite busy so we didn’t get a great look at the Apes in there but that was to be expected.

Hubby was feeling brave and wanted to take Ellie in to the Fruit Bat Cave, as my brother is petrified I decided to stay with him while Hubby and my brother-in-law took her in. I was expecting them to come straight back out because she was screaming yet they took their time and Hubby says Ellie was constantly looking around. He did say it wasn’t as dark as it normally feels so they were able to see the bats a bit more clearly which I think helped. I still don’t think we’d have got my brother to walk through though!

Due to Ellie walking for most of the day we didn’t get to visit the whole 110 acres and I think in hindsight we could have used the Zoo’s monorail to get around more of the animals. There is also a water boat ride but Ellie’s not quite old enough for that yet so thought we’d give it a miss this time. I do wish we’d have gotten over to the Islands part as I think she would have loved the animals there but we will do that part first next time!

The whole day was mesmerising, from the moment we got there Ellie was so happy to be out in the fresh air, splashing in the puddles and conning Daddy out of money at the gift shop (already!! We spent £30 in there!) I was slightly disappointed that we couldn’t find the Dinosaur exhibit that we saw when I was pregnant with Ellie but we could tell there was lots going on to make the park ready for the Summer and I’m expecting we will be going back in the 6 week holidays for another visit! The sheer amount of animals you could see is enough to go back, from elephants and lions to sloth, bats and butterflies! There really is something for everyone and if the walking doesn’t tire the little ones then the play areas certainly will. I’d have loved to have let Ellie have a wander but they were busy with much older children and I was scared she’d get squashed!

Overall we had a lovely family day, making memories and although the admission price was still pricey (£21 each!) with the Carer being free and Ellie being under 2 we all got in for £43 which really wasn’t that bad! I would recommend it to anyone wanting to visit a clean and family friendly zoo.

 

Posted in baby loss, baby loss awareness, grief, life after loss, motherhood, mothering a rainbow, mummy blog, parenting, parenting after loss, rainbow baby, reading, telford, Uncategorized, world book day

World Book Day

Posted on by Amy

“If you are ever going to get anywhere in life you have to read a lot of books.” Roald Dahl

It’s never too early to build a love for reading. World Book Day might almost be over but we continue to give Ellie the best start in life and a love for books is one of the greatest things we can pass on to her. We are lucky in that Ellie already loves books and has from a very early age. She has always enjoyed looking at the pictures and already turns the pages herself. Even before she was born we had a collection of books ready and waiting to be read (another reality of life after baby loss!) and I couldn’t wait to sit with my children and read to them before bed.  Continue reading “World Book Day” →