Posted in parenting


What a whirlwind the last few weeks have been. It’s hard finding the right work/life balance when you’ve been off for six weeks and haven’t had to think about work at all! I’m missing our days out and being able to stay in our pj’s until lunch time! Honestly, I’m just missing the summer because we had such an amazing summer to miss.

September is always a funny month because I have my car MOT and Ellie’s birthday to sort out plus lots of birthdays this month and next month. I also try and start my christmas shopping/planning by the end of September as I hate leaving everything so last minute. I’ve already bought a few of Ellie’s Christmas things but honestly I’m nowhere near where I’d have liked to be with everyone else’s! I haven’t even planned who we need to buy for this year. I feel so unorganised. Yes I know it’s only September but there’s less than 100 days until the big day and I hate having to wait until December to get sorted. I’m so unorganised that I wanted to get another gift-guide planned and set up but just haven’t even had the time to look around for things nevermind actually contact anyone. Honestly, I don’t think i’m cut out to be a blogger sometimes but I absolutely love writing and wish I’d done something more with it at college. I mean, what has Health & Social Care and Sociology done for me lately eh?

We’ve spent our free time enjoying the last few afternoons of sunshine and I’m so glad we did. I love Autumn but it’s been nice to get out of the house and go to the park after work. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was excited to get out and walk through those autumnal crunchy leaves, wrapped up warm in our hats and gloves and watch Ellie really enjoy this season. She’s happy as long as she can still be outside.

We’ve got so much to look forward to in the next few months with days out, half term, Ellie’s birthday and Christmas that I feel quite giddy about it all. This really is my favourite time of the year, the build up to Ellie’s birthday and to Christmas just makes me so happy.
Ellie has asked for a party this year and originally I had said no. She didn’t need a party but in her mind you have a party for your birthday and I really can’t have people just turning up at my house…it’s too much. So she’s having a party. I was not prepared for a party at all. We’ve booked a venue a few weeks ago and managed to get a few bits here and there but there’s still so much to do and organise and honestly, Luke is pretty useless with things like this so he just leaves me to get on with it. There’s still lots to do but i’m hoping I can do her proud.

October also brings some difficult times with Baby Loss Awareness week and wave of light, both of which always gives me a bit of anxiety. We’ve been so lucky that people remember Jason but each year the support seems to dwindle slightly. I get it, life goes on, but it still hurts when people seem to ‘forget’. Seeing a candle lit up for him means so much to us as bereaved parents, the opportunity to feel like he is remembered as my son. I’ve written a special post for Wave of Light and BLAW which will be shared nearer the time and i’ve had the opportunity to collaborate with one of our favourite small businesses on this too! It’s really exciting!

I just wanted to let you all know we are still here, still attempting to get things written and failing miserably(!!).


Wife & Mum of 2; Jason born and died 29/03/15 and Ellie born 01/11/16. Hoping to break the silence around baby loss and the journey of parenting a rainbow baby one blog post at a time.

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